Saturday, November 6, 2010

draft

how will I fill it?
In just this short time
the space I kept for myself
has been stretched by
miles of new memories
how will I fill it
when you leave?

where will these feelings go?
can I lock them away
can I forget them
every smile every minute every kiss
as if this didn't exist

how do i fill it?

With what ifs?

What if, what if, what if

6 words to explain
I'm not going to leave you - again

6 words to explain
why I can't let you stay

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

words and sounds

I was always just the words and sounds
he used to drown the music out.
The sacrificial tree to bridge the stream
so he wouldn’t have to get his feet wet.
The gloves he wore against the biting cold.
The bed he lay in as he drifted off to sleep.
The piano where he pounded out his masterpieces
on my unresisting keys.

But I am not the words and sounds
The sacrificial tree
The gloves
The bed
Or his piano keys

I am the woman who will sing you to sleep
who will hold your hand as we splash through the stream
and warm you with my own body heat
who will lie tangled in your sheets
and listen to you gently breathe.

Let me be part of your symphony

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Untitled

We weighed them carefully:

the balance between our hearts and minds
ever mindful of the passing time
morning cuddling versus late night sex
never-ending happiness, constant distress

We measured in memories
and breathtaking moments
and stopped to revisit
each dawn that we woke with

but the scale has broken
and its tipping to one side
and the balance we've fought for
shatters before our eyes

the cursor is blinking
a sinking beacon
as the silence deepens -

We've forgotten
what it's like
to be together.
 
I kept them to myself:

Tiny threads of understanding
thick strands of misunderstandings
questions without answers
answered without thinking

I wove with words
and thoughts unspoken
and spoke in circles
to keep it flowing

but the wheel has broken
and the river is flooding
and the water has breached
the silence I've been keeping

the cursor is blinking
a sinking beacon
and still, the silence deepens.

I'd forgotten
what it's like
to be alone.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Satisfaction

All these strands of insecurities
Frantic glances to the left and right of me
To scared to look behind and feel
The eyes of those I left to dust
Solemn with forgiveness
What’s one more thought to bury me
Compared to the effort of struggling free
Cultivate the field where I rest
With every persecuted weed
And tread as if the world depended on
Every graying bit of shrubbery
We thought this was what they called
Happiness:
This stretch of Earth that claimed the right
of existence
But not life.
Satisfaction is my happiness.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Usual Remedies

All the rules in the world
couldn't protect you, little girl
All the prayers and wishes
All the good intentions
wouldn't make a difference

All the pennies in the world
couldn't buy your thoughts, little girl
all the promises and bribes
all the bricks of gold
wouldn't buy those words

All the songs in the world
couldn't sing you to sleep, little girl
all the rhythms and beats
all the soothing lyrics
wouldn't put you at ease

All the smiles in the world
couldn't cheer you up, little girl
all the jokes and funny faces
all the carefree moments
wouldn't brighten your day

All the time in the world
couldn't heal those wounds, little girl
all the bandages and salves
all the usual remedies
wouldn't stop this disease

But you can make your own rules, little girl
and screw their good intentions
and share those thoughts for free

You can sing your own songs
to your own rhythms and beats
and you can learn to live care free

You can rip those bandages off
and let the blood run clean.